Back to the Casserole Dish

Thanksgiving is gone and the turkey is still here. Tonight I bring a special treat to all of my fellow Domestic Engineers. As if turkey salad, turkey Chili, turkey and rice soup, and turkey sandwiches weren't enough here's one more recipe to glean from the carcass of the turkey.
This little creation was quick, about 35 minutes to prepare from start to finish.

Ingredients
2 cups of cooked Turkey
1/2 cup Sweet Peas (canned or frozen)
3 Medium Potatoes (Diced)
1 cup Diced Carrots
1/2 medium Onion
1/2 Cup Flour
2 cups of Turkey Broth
1/2 cup Milk
Salt and Pepper

Topping
2 cups All Purpose Flour
2 1/2 tsp Baking Powder
1 tsp salt
2/3 cup Shortening
1/4 cup to 1 cup of Milk

In a medium sauce pan bring 3 to 5 cups of Water to a boil. Add salt, Carrots, Potatoes. Cook until tender. Mean while prepare the roux.

Preparing the roux
In a small skillet over low heat add Turkey Broth. Whisk in Flour until smooth. Bring to a boil and add milk, salt, and pepper. Remove from heat and sit aside.

Preparing the topping.
Combine Flour, Baking Powder, and Salt. With a fork cut in shortening until the mixture looks like corn meal. Add in enough milk to make the mixture sticky. Set aside

In a large casserole dish combine Turkey, Roux, and Vegetables. Add salt and pepper to taste. Top with Biscuit dough topping and bake at 400 degree F until bubbling (about 15 minutes)

The beauty of this recipe is that you can subsitute the Turkey and Turkey broth with Chicken or beef. Its very versatile and is very filling on evenings when you are strapped for time and everyone just needs a bit of comfort food.

Ways to Save

Yep, its time to start cutting those household costs, down to the bare essentials. If the economy hasn't gotten you to reign in your spending, the up coming Holiday bills will most certainly make you rethink priorities.

Here's my Top Five for saving money all around your home.
1. Ditch everything that's Disposable.
This might sound absolutely crazy as disposables are convenient, and the initial investment is usually cheaper than buying something that's reusable. For paper towels, and napkins I use cloth. Most of my cloths have come from old clothes I have turn up to make rags with. I have TONS of rags, and they are single use only. I put those in the washer, and before you start wondering about your water bill..don't. These rags don't take up much space and don't need special care, just throw in the dirty ones with whatever you are washing.
I am sure you are wondering, well what about Diapers. I could write an entire blog on the merits of Cloth Diapering in the Modern Age. To put it simply, there's lots of options on the market, and plenty of information on the Net. Bum Genius
Feminine Hygiene. There's plenty of reusable items on the Market without resulting to Tampons and pads. There's the Diva Cup, Sea Sponges, and Mama Cloth. Personally I use Mama cloth, but also like my cup.
You and your family deserves to eat off of Non Toxic, environmentally friendly dishes..NOT PAPER or Foam.

2. Shop the Same store. I know the thrill of saving money is an addicting feeling. Yet, I also know that its not worth saving $5 on my groceries if I have spent an extra $10 in gas to make the savings. Find the Grocery store nearest to you and start shopping. If you are shopping at the same store you can learn about Sale cycles, base prices, and the "Close out" section. There's also unadvertised sales that only loyal customers know about, if you spend your day shopping from one store to another you might miss the loyalty deals.

3. No More harsh house hold Cleaners. I clean my house, with Vinegar, Baking Soda, and a few essential oils. That's IT! I do have a bottle of Windex I bought on the fly one evening because I needed to clean my windshield. A Gallon of Vinegar lasts me nearly 3 months, and at only $4/gallon that's considerably cheaper than buying Windex or other glass cleaner. Plus Vinegar is a multi surface cleaner and disinfectant. I can clean glass, dust, and scrub the tub using the same bottle of cleaner for a fraction of the price. I also use Vinegar in the rinse tray on my Dishwasher

4. MAKE FOOD AT HOME;
Every Dinner, should also be a Lunch. Many people working outside of the home can spend more than $30/week eating out for lunch. Every dinner should be able to double as a lunch the next day. Casseroles and Soups are the best option. However, if you should find a great deal on a cut of meat like Pork tender loin or Roast Beef, before serving it, separate enough to make sandwiches.
Pack the Snacks. We all have kids, and we all know they will get hungry as soon as they see a vending machine or snack bar. I have a small lunch box I pack fruit and crackers in every time I leave the house. I was getting a bit lazy about it and it was costing me several dollars each time I left the house. You may not think that the $4 or $5 in snacks at the gas station is a lot, but if you spend that several times a week, over a month you are looking at a real money loss.

5. Find out how much those "quick" Trips really cost you. I was surprised to find out every time I picked my step son up from school it costs one gallon of gas. When Gas prices were near 3/gallon that was more than $15/week just to make one round trip to school 5 times. We live roughly 20 minutes from the nearest town, so a quick trip could cost us as much as 5 gallons of gas and that can add up quickly. We only do things in combined trips to town. This saves loads of money but it also means a great sacrifice. For example, I don't go to playgroups if I have no other reason to go town. I don't do special nights out if we have no reason to go out.

I will elaborate in more detail on each of these top five. They work for me and have been very effective in the past.

Making it Easy: Helping a Child Clean Their Room

Like every Mother on in the modern world we wonder just how will we get our child to clean his room. There is the age old force method, "CLEAN YOUR ROOM OR ELSE." There's the permissive method" Its Your Room, keep the Way You'd Like, just keep the door closed when we have company." I don't subscribe to either types of parenting, although I have tried both approaches, to no avail the results either way are not positive.

I thought early on in my son's life, I'd make cleaning just as much a part of our day as watching TV, Sleeping, Making Crafts, or Driving to Play dates. There was a time when he was eager to pick up and clean with out much prodding. All I had to do was so "Its time to pick up your room." and off he went. Yet, the words, "Clean your Room" can turn my son into a stubborn donkey. LOL. I have to laugh as I rarely ever label my DS's behavior but this is one that perplexes me to no end. He will help me scrub the toilets, and bath tub, and can keep things reasonably neat in our public living areas, but his room can cause a battle of wills.

Part of me is on the side of being permissive, it is his space, free from the rest of the house. Yet, with that space comes a responsibility to keep it free of dangerous clutter, and pests. What's a parent to do.

I LOVE The Fly Lady , and discovered she has a plan that helps kids. She has a cleaning plan for big Fly babies like myself, that has revolutionized how I keep my home and stay organized. She also has a small plan for helping children become Fly babies too. The Fly Lady uses a method of "Zone" cleaning to help maintain a home and I highly suggest if you are reading this you go over to her site...even if you are NEAT FREAK, you will find something that will help you. I Digressed. For my DS, the matter of his room is one that overwhelms him. Yes, he knows to put things back, his room is also his play room, TV room, and sleeping space. In the past I have done a 5 minute room rescue, in which I set a timer for 5 minutes and we pick up and put away as much stuff as possible. That was enough to keep the floor clean and safe for walking across in the middle of the night, yet his toys and shelves would end up disorganized, which usually left me reorganizing everything when I had a spare afternoon.

I have looked at the Fly Lady plan for kids, and the Zones didn't really meet the needs of my DS's room. So I have devised my own. There are five areas or zones Bed, Tool Bench and Toy Box, TV Cabinet, Closet/Dresser, Book Shelf. That's 5 days a week in which I go in his room with him and help him reorganize his things in each area.

Today I started with the "BED" area. In this area we cleaned off the bed and made it. I don't require that he make his bed just yet, as he doesn't know how to do it. We put any books on the bed back onto the Book Shelf, and all of his special animals on the bed neatly. Then we cleaned from underneath the bed. He had a lot of fun with this part as he was trying to see how far his hand would reach. We put all of things underneath the bed back where they belonged and we cleaned the corner at the end of his bed, where his Tools tend to fall from his tool bench. In about 10 minutes he was finished and he was RELIEVED it wasn't an all afternoon marathon of cleaning.

Tomorrow will be the "Tool Bench and Toy Box Area". I don't have a big toy box, but instead I have a few small boxes that miscellaneous toys get thrown. Sometimes during the 5 Minute room rescues LOTS of other items end up in the boxes. So this is a time to sort those items. The tool bench in his room is the equivalent of a Play Kitchen. It has tons of little items that go with it, and they each have a specific home. Again this is a time to clean it off, and wipe it down with a damp cloth and return those items to their correct home.

Thursday is TV Cabinet day. Now this is one that DRIVES me nuts and I am not sure if its going to be Zone that stands alone. DS has about 40 VHS movies in this cabinet that he's free to watch when ever he'd like. About half the time, he puts the VHS tape back into its cover. To insure that the VHS tapes are where they belong, each week we'll go through the cabinet to make sure the tapes in the appropriate cover, and dust the entire cabinet and TV.

Friday Work Zone is the Closet/Dresser. My DS loves to put his own clothes away and get himself dressed. What that usually means is that Socks are in the pants drawer, and underwear end up with the Shirts. When I go to dress him I find that he's out of underwear and socks LOL. So once a week I will try and help him reorganize those drawers. The Dresser is in the closet and the closet has A LOT of big things stored in there. Those things include race tracks, and train tracks, puzzles, and games. Its very easy in our 5 Minute madness or just through out the day misplace a game piece or dump out one of the storage boxes, so we'll be picking those up and making sure they are all where they are supposed to be for next time.

The Final area is the Bookshelf. I have two book shelves that house our Montessori Work. These shelves are relatively easy to maintain as everything is put back during our work cycle. The problem is the books and miscellaneous toys that end up on Shelves at other times. The books I am notorious for just stacking books up with thinking about where they go and my DS is the very same.

What my plan ultimately means is that my DS can accomplish each of the tasks on his own if shown with repetition how to do it. At no point will he ever have to feel over whelmed by cleaning up the entire room at once. Cleaning each area will give him confidence in himself and there will be no "OR Else's " from me.

Before you start yelling at your kids to clean their rooms, take a lesson from the Fly Lady and make it easy for them. Customize what she has to say to your childs needs. Make sure what ever "Zone" you come up with your child can complete teh task in under 10 minutes.

Did you say Pumpkin Pie

Thanksgiving has come and gone and I cooked. This blog is coming a bit late but I wanted to share. We do Thanksgiving in my home as a time to Give thanks to all that we have in the very moment we are living. Last year we were Thankful that we could cook dinner in a crock pot, and share it with Motel staff.
This year has been an abundant year in our house and for my family. We were going to visit Family this Thank giving and I was very Thankful for that. However, like many things in our ever changing and busy lives those plans were cancelled. I woke up 5AM Thanksgiving morning and began the marvelous feat that is cooking a huge feast. To make it short I cooked at 15lb Turkey, Dressing, Cheesy Green Bean Casserole, Cherry Cream Pie, Pumpkin Pie, Mac n Cheese, Butter Beans, Corn, canned Crane Berry sauce and Rolls.
I set the table with our regular dishes (I don't have "Good China" yet ) and the heirloom flatware my mother gave me one year for Christmas. I used a Table cloth my son had picked out the day before and served real Sweet tea to drink.
We invited a few friends over for dinner and one of them arrived right on time with all of the fixing for a great garden salad. He marveled at my domestic masterpiece and filled himself to the point he couldn't move. I found that a bit of a compliment.
At about half-time during the Dallas football game, everyone wanted desert. I had made a Cherry Cream pie, and a Pumpkin Pie and our Guest brought along some wonderful Chocolate chip cookies.
The highlight of the evening however was the pumpkin pie. Never mind that I had taken the time to prepare it with the pumpkin that I had processed myself. It was great. I am no gourmet, however, I usually get a recipe and change it up to meet my needs.
I used the Libby's Pumpkin Pie Recipe. However, this recipe calls for a frozen pie crust. I never frozen pie crusts. I simply made mine using a recipe I developed all my own.

Pie Crust
2 cups All Purpose Flour (unbleached is better than bleached)
1 tsp of Salt
1/2 cup Vegetable Shorting
1/4 cup Unsalted Butter
2 tbs Ice Water

Sift Flour and salt together in a large bowl. Cut in Shortening and Butter. Add water to the mixture to help incorporate the flour, Shortening, and Butter. When well mixed roll into a ball and Freeze until firm.

Rolling.
On a floured surface, sprinkle 1 tsp of Ground Cinnamon. Roll pie crust dough over "Cinnamon Flour" surface until its larger than the pie plate. (Should be about 12 inches in diameter) Put dough in Pie Plate.

Cooking
Using a fork poke air holes in the bottom of the dough. Bake at 350 degrees F, until golden brown.

The cinnamon and butter give the crust a great flavor that compliments the pie filling. This crust is also excellent to use with Apple pies.


I also made some other Changes to the Pumpkin Pie Recipe

The Recipe calls for 1 can of Pumpkin, I used 2 cups of Fresh Pumpkin.
I always use ground my own Cloves, instead of using ground Cloves. In the past I have also ground my cinnamon.

That's really all for now. I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving no matter what you served and who you share it all with.

Black Friday

In years past I have found myself awake as early as 3AM, sneaking out of the door to the car to wait in line. The weeks leading up to Black Friday were me going through ads, listening to the news about door buster deals.

This year was different with the weeks and days leading up to Black Friday. I had it all planned out, I had been reading websites, articles, checking paper ads, you name it I had found the deals. Yet, something this year didn't seem right. Part of me truly didn't want to slink out of bed at 2AM, to stand in line at Toys r us so I might save $15 on the latest toy my son has been asking for since it debuted on TV. I didn't want to risk waging war with the rest of the deal seekers. Part of me felt as though like the rest of America was desperate to save money on this all consumer holiday that is Christmas. That something bad would happen.

Some how I knew deep inside that I would be sitting out this Black Friday. Friday morning I rose out of bed at around 9AM, soon to be greeted by my son. We had a family friend asleep on our couch and I started the morning coffee. I was stretched in two directions, I was thinking I could get in the car now and grab those last minute deals before 11AM, the other part of me was thinking...WTF for! It wasn't long before I logged on line to see that someone had been trampled to death at Wal Mart, and later in the day I read people had been shot at a Toys R Us. Now honestly I was relieved because if hoards of crazies were out that morning in other parts of country, they were certainly out in about in my area.

So alas. I stayed home, and I didn't even shop online for the anything.

The Great Pumpkin Experiment

Like all great Domestic Engineers, life would be boring and uneventful if it weren't for those times we decided to experiment. In the past I have experimented with baking bread, cooking vegan meals, sewing clothes. Many of these experiments usually are an unguided processes that leaves A HUGE mess in its wake. It also Never fails that we decided on said experiments on a day when the calendar is full already.


Friday morning started out as an average day. My step son and DP went of to school and work. My son and I stayed behind to watch TV, surf the net, work on house hold chores, for myself aim to get out of the House by 6:30PM for a greatly anticipated Mom's Night Out. At around 10AM my DS come to me for an activity. I decide now is the time cut open a Jack O lantern sized pumpkin. In my mind it will be fun, we'll gut a pumpkin, toast the seeds and chop up the rest and boil it. It seemed simple enough. My DS was beaming with excitement. This pumpkin had been given to him by a family friend. We had intended to carve it for Halloween but instead used some parts that were similar to Mr. Potato Head to decorate the pumpkin. It sat on the porch for nearly an entire month decorated on each side with a face from the horror classics.


We cut open the top of the pumpkin and I reached my hand inside, grabbed a handful of pumpkin guts and my DS followed. We put the guts on the news paper the pumpkin was sitting upon. At that point I was thinking, how much the pumpkin stinks, and what a mess we were making. Just as the pumpkins guts were all laying on the table for all the world to see the door bell rings. My land lord was there to tell me to turn on the water as it was time to Chlorinate the drinking water pipes. (Long story short we had some well problems and in order to fix the problems we now use UV light disinfection.) Lucky me he didn't want to come in the house or he was repulsed by the smell of pumpkin, either way he kept his distance. We gather up the guts and put them in a collinear as I had intended on toasting the seeds.


So next came a step I will admit I HAD NOT clue what I was doing. At first I was going to simply slice a bit of the pumpkin, and then peel the slices. WORNG! Pumpkins are tough, good luck getting a half dull carving knife to cut slices of pumpkin and you'll need even more luck to peel the slice once its cut away from the pumpkin. After nearly slicing my finger with a knife I brought out the meat cleaver. My DS was very entertained by me hacking away at this Giant pumpkin on the table. We never use the meat clever for anything. Occasionally, a piece of pumpkin would shoot across the room.


After about 20 minutes of hacking a way the pumpkin I put it all in a large bowl. I then washed it. This turned out to be more complicated as we HAD TONS of pumpkin of chunks to be washed. Not all of it would fit in the large bowl. It spent another 10 or 15 minutes simply trying to wash the pumpkin chunks and finally getting them in their pots. Now that also turned out to be a challenge as I needed two pots and they both end up being very full. I almost brought out a third pot, but I'll get to why I didn't in a minute.


So finally, the next step was to simply boil the pumpkin until it was soft. Sounds easy enough, just turn the pots on high, bring to a boil, and turn down to med/low until pumpkin is cooked. I put my small pot on the front large burner and the Large stock pot on the back burner. Every thing was going well, except the back burner was smoking. I attributed the smoking burner to the fact I never use that burner and it was burning off the built up grease. The smoke got worse after a few minutes and I had to check it. I moved this giant two gallon pot from the burner, and at that moment the contents underneath burner decides to ignite. WONDERFUL! Part of me is thinking ,"Great! How do I explain me burning down my house while trying to cook a giant pumpkin." My DS was in the kitchen and at some moment I switched to "TEACHER MOM." Calmly I told my DS, "first we have to turn off the burner, then we have to cut the air off from the fire." In the moment this little lesson went by in under 20 seconds. I could clearly see the fire wasn't out, so I told him that we needed something that would not allow any air on the fire, so I brought out the baking soda. In one hit with the soda the fire was out, the only problem now the back burner was now covered in baking soda and I had TWO large pots of pumpkin that needed to be cooked. I had to switch the pots around, the smaller pot went to the small front burner, with the larger pot went on the large front burner. The simplest and easiest part came next, I cleaned up the mess left behind. NO big deal and I knew I had a while before I had to do anything with the pumpkin as it had to cook and cool.


After cleaning, I brought out my sewing. My DP and a co worker came to the house for lunch. This part of pumpkin process was so far becoming the easiest part. My son happily told DP's co worker that Mr. Baking Soda put out a fire. That comment led me into talking about the fire and why it wasn't that big of a deal. I also took the moment to get on to my DS for simply ignoring the fact I was the one who brought out Mr. Baking Soda.

Not long after DP left for work DS wanted my attention and I also realized the pumpkin was done cooking. I turned off the heat, and played with DS for a little while. I knew there was no possible way for me to process hot pumpkin and get to the school on time to pick up my Step son. I shoved the pumpkin in the fridge, picked my step son up from school and came home. Only to find what awaited me, I had NOT put away my sewing and it looked like a colored lamb had puked all over the dinning room. If it weren't enough my son was tired and didn't want to take a nap. He was roving the house in a tired way looking for trouble. In the back of mind I am thinking "I have to get the pumpkin out of the fridge and do something with it...but what!" I had no intentions of cooking dinner on that evening, as I was breaking free for mom's night out, but I couldn't just leave the fridge full of pumpkin. So I tell the kids to get a long, I have something that MUST be done. I break out the pumpkin with little idea as to how I might get the peeling separated from the edible part. I did know that it could be done, as with other types of squash, the peeling stays intact while the rest of the vegetable turns into mush. At first I bring out a collinear, thinking I would simply mash the pumpkin through the holes. That didn't work, in fact I made a huge mess and some of the peeling popped through the holes. At some point, it may have been at this one, where I was wondering if I should in fact get on the Internet and read about processing pumpkin, however I did not. My next idea was to simply separate the peeling from the edible part by hand. This worked out wonderfully, only the four hour Chlorination was complete and I had to turn on the all of the faucets in the house until I could no longer smell chlorine. I went about the house turning on every possible fixture including the ones that were outside. My DS found this especially fun and stayed out side to "watch" the water come out of the spigot. This was a mistake on my part as I was finally finishing up making pumpkin puree I realized that NOW I had to turn off all of the faucets. When I got outside I realized DS had put the water hose on the spigot and was hosing down the steps and the inside of the side door, it wasn't shut. Its nearly 5PM and time is short as in about an hour and half I want to leave and even sooner DP will be home from work. The side entrance is flooded, my DS is soaking wet, the kitchen looks as though a pumpkin puked all over the counters and I have yet to figure out just what I am going to do with the vast amount of pureed pumpkin.
My next thoughts were to throw in the towel, I simply wasn't going to be able to leave the house in any reasonable amount of time. Over whelmed my DP might actually tell me he cannot stay home with three kids and pumpkin goo all over the kitchen. So I do the only thing a good Domestic Engineer knows to do, a mad stash and Dash. I start with the pumpkin peels as those have to go in the compost heap, I allow DS to run the house naked. With all of the frantic cleaning I managed to not only get the kitchen cleaned, I mopped! That's a chore I avoid with a passion.
In the end I was able to put away enough pumpkin for six pumpkin pies. I made it to an awesome Mom's Night out, and my DS was waiting for me when I got home at nearly midnight. My DP also found some chunks of pumpkin in the dining room during Breakfast.
At just after 5PM, I throw in the towel, I will ultimately be late to Mom's night out, my DP will come home and see his house destroyed and I will still be cleaning pumpkin and mopping at 7PM.

Casserole Dish: A Domestic Engineer's Canvas

IF you are Domestic Engineer like me (middle class American) you are feeling the hit of our countries financial crisis. The days of eating out, making expensive boxed meals, and making elaborate dinners are over for now. I have been reigning in our food budget. Every left over in the house is game for lunches, and dinners the next day. I have been making casseroles just like my Grandmother and mother did when things got tight. Casseroles are quick and easy and truly inexpensive.
In my mind the Casserole dish is a blank canvas awaiting the artists touch. My fellow domestic engineers its now time to learn the art of making casseroles. Its time to realize your family is just as worthy of your Casserole creations as your Church. For those of you wondering just how does one make a casserole this is the first installment in casserole making. There are no hard set recipes, more or less some rules that need to be followed in order for it be a casserole.
Last night was casserole night. This casserole was made using a condensed soup, finely chopped veggies, rice and meat.

Below is the recipe for the Casserole I served my family last night.

1 cup of cooked chicken,
1 cup of uncooked rice,
1 can of Cream of Mushroom soup,
1 cup of finely chopped broccoli,
1 clove of finely minced garlic
2 stalks of chopped celery
1/2 medium onion.
1/2 cup cheese (Can be any Mozzarella, Cheddar, Swiss)
1/2 cup Parmesan Cheese
Cook the rice according to the directions. Meanwhile chop all veggies. Ten minutes before rice is done, put all veggies in the rice pot and replace the lid. When the rice is finished cooking put the contents of the pot into the casserole dish. Mix in the Chicken and Condensed soup. Top the entire dish with Cheeses and bake at 350 degrees until bubbly.

In the case of this recipe nearly everything can be substituted or are staples that a domestic engineer has on hand already. I always keep Frozen vegetables on hand like Broccoli, Peas, Carrots. It just happens at this time of the week I only have Broccoli. Celery and Onions are always in my kitchen. These are musts for cooking and seasoning food without much salt. Parm and other cheese are always in my kitchen. The chicken, was left over from dinner the night before. Rice is also a major staple in my house. Now for the basic Rules to take with you.

Rule #1: You must have a casserole dish
Rule #2: A well stocked Kitchen is at the corner stone of casserole making.

Good luck this week.

Doing more than being Mommy.

It has taken me a while, but I am back to blogging just today. Until today I hadn't read any one Else's blog for weeks and I hadn't written in my own blog and here I am.
Where I have been and what happened in the life of this Domestic Engineer is difficult to talk about. I will however share what is happening right now that personally effects me.
About a month ago I ultimately decided to start my own business. It is something I have always aspired to. When I was little I always wanted to sell things to other people. I really wanted to be a craft vendor at local craft fairs. However, my passion for sales wasn't limited to crafts, although I didn't like Girl Scouts, I LOVED selling cookies. In high school I was notorious for selling the most of any item in fund raisers.
Lately I have been turning my dinning area into a studio of sorts, making everything from sewing projects, home made paper, painting, sketching ideas, writing a business plan. Part of me thinks I must be INSANE for even thinking of such a venture when the economy is in the toilet, but I see it as in opportunity. I remind myself of the woman in the movie Chocolate who opened her chocolate store in the midst of Lent. She knew what she wanted to do, and and she did it. So what if things are not "ideal", now is the time for me to do this particular venture. I have practiced making products for years and now I am ready to make it a full reality.
My short term plans are to just get enough products made to list them on http://www.etsy.com/, and come up with the funds to start doing a weekend flea market table. My profits will go to build the business in terms of more products and vending at local craft fairs. Any extra money will go to pay for activities for my son's to attend such as Ice skating or swimming lessons.
I am still in the process of writing the full plan, and still testing products for the market. I am in the early stages of something that could satisfy an intense personal need to be something other than "MOM".
The other thing I am desperately trying to achieve is being readmitted to "the university" for the spring term. Like many young domestic Engineers I have a degree in waiting. I took time off while my life was moved across the state and then back again. I should know my fate for the spring term as early as Friday. I am excited about the possibility of finally finishing a degree I started on three years before my son's arrived. I also wonder what getting that degree really means for my family. Sure I could get right to work, my degree is job security and financial security its also a burden of obligation. The burden of actually using my degree for its intended purpose is perhaps the one thing that hangs over my head. Having a degree can be a powerful asset to anyone that has one, but what does that really mean for a woman who truly wants to be at home and run a household? I have yet to answer that question for my personal situation. I can speculate on the "what should be's" but they don't really satisfy what it means for me.
Anyways I am back, and will be back posting on a daily basis about life, whats happening.

Liberated by the Apron.

For years I have struggled as a clumsy house wife to keep my clothes clean. It doesn't matter what I am doing during the day my shirts always end up filthy by the end of the day. I have a tried several things to remedy the stains on my clothes, everything from Harsh chemicals, soaking, pre-treating, only wearing black. I am sure you get the picture. Every day I dig through my drawer of casual clothes to find everything from paint, grease, and mystery stains on my shirts.
Yet, one idea was put into my head more than 2 years ago to save my clothes. A friend of mine and artist told me I should just buy an apron. First, the truly liberal,woman power part of me said..what next "Corsets". At that moment I looked at the 1950's images in my head of that happy housewife in a corset, dress, and apron, thinking NO way am I taking women back that far. Like everything else though, the women of generations past knew things about home care that far escape most all of the Women in my generation today. So in trying to be neater over the past few years, avoiding the "apron", I am ruined more than 2 dozen t-shirts, and countless "blouses." I doubt June Cleaver ever ruined a nice frock while wearing her favorite apron.
Yesterday though my frustration with stained shirts came to a boil. My college team had finally won after a three game losing streak. They also played extremely well, and dominated the game. I was wearing my college T-shirt and really wanted to go out in public with it, but I couldn't. From the elbows down, this shirt has everything from Spaghetti stains, grease stains, and some weird brown stains. I have used Oxyclean, Clorox Bleach, and just plain pre-treating it with detergent to get this shirt clean. Yet this shirt is stained for good. I told myself that I was buying myself an apron and it would be soon!
After all like every person in America I have a right to clean, stain free shirts. I have a right to have as many as I deem necessary. I however shouldn't have to dig through my drawer to find a shirt with the least stains, or skipping over a stain free shirt in fear of it getting stained. I deserve a way to keep my clothing neat. Apron shopping would need to be done but not without some rules and ideas first. The market place, had far advanced since 1950, aprons weren't frilly and feminine anymore. While we are at it lets be honest, I am not a lace, and ribbon type of woman, and I am not plain either. I like things with Character and charm. I wanted an apron that was like me. I knew that wouldn't be easy, and I knew I had need to have a will to where it. Basically if it was to frilly or boring, I'd just wear my old shirts and keep plugging a long.
Last night I bought my apron at the discount store Ross. I was so happy to see all of the different styles, and they were full length. I picked through them until I found one that matched my Kitchen, and Matched my style. I have a coffee house type feel happening in my kitchen and so I bought an apron that appeared to be a sack of coffee beans. One of my concerns with aprons was the length. I am pretty short, so having an adjustable neck was important. That was one feature I couldn't ignore in favor of saving a few dollars. What good would an Apron do it if was dragging the ground?
Do I think I have sent woman kind back in time to a more oppressive life? Hardly. If anything I have liberated myself and my budget. I no longer have to be sad after a day in kitchen that I ruined yet another perfectly fine shirt, I no longer have to spend money on new shirts every couple of weeks. My $6 investment will pay for it self in every single shirt that I save.
Now what to do with all of my old stained shirts....well that will be in my next blog as they are good for more than the trash.

For all of the women out their who have suffered the sadness of ruining a good shirt, go buy yourself an apron. Get one that is just like you, there's thousands of opens, no longer does it have to be frilly, or even say "Kiss the Cook."
What to look for
- One with Personality, you will be wearing it often so it may as well be fun and it can double as a kitchen accessory.
-Full Length
-Adjustable neck strap, so you can adjust the length for your Height
-Sturdy Fabric, so that food coloring, and grease cannot seep through to your clothes
- Easy to wash.

Rethinking my blog

Hello Fellow Readers.
I have been thinking long an hard about the format of my blog. Its intent is to help connect Young mothers, living the stay at home mom life. It seems lately I have gotten off track, and I don't post near enough to make it interesting.
Some changes are coming, first Labeling will be consistent to make searching for specific blogs easier.
Next, I will be posting on a near daily basis with topics that include, House keeping, Consensual living, Marital Relationships, Cooking, Budget concerns, Montessori at home, and finally Household health.
I hope this makes reading my blog more helpful and enjoyable for all readers.

Freedom shall be Mine!!!

Yesterday at 4:35PM I recieved the phone call I have been waiting for. The voice on the other end of the line was someone very important relaying a message that could be compared to a Governor delaying a death sentence. The voice said "Hi, this is XYZ at the Ford Dealership, your car is ready for pick up." Immediately my eyes glazed over with anticipation, I looked at the clock and asked what time did they close. Lucky me I had less than an hour an half to make it. However my DP was still at work, I hadn't gotten dressed all day and dinner was ready. What..o what was I to do. Well I called DP, told him the car was ready, jumped in the shower, got my DS dressed, put dinner in storage containers and waited on the back steps. There was NO way I was going to wait one more day to have a vehicle.
So, its true, my van sits in my drive-way waiting for my DS and I to climb inside and take her for a ride. I can assure you my DS is as excited as I am, for its been nearly 3 months since he last seen a playground. I was laying in bed last night, snuggled up with my DS as I thought about story time at the library, adult interaction, Playground, Grocery shopping in the morning on a Wednesday, going to the bank when there's no crowd, packing up my bike and riding around the park. My head was swimming with joy, so much freedom and of course my DP and I could actually rest on the weekends and evenings. No more evening runs to the grocery store, no more driving like mad to the bank before it closes, No more late books to the library because I couldn't make it back into town.
The joy was short lived. I had to switch gears. For the past months, without a car we have saved a lot of money with just one vehicle on the road. As a family we barely used a tank of gas a week. So with two vehicles, and driving into the nearest town, to church, what ever else I can come up with.....my van could quickly become a money hole. I have had to take a step back. I do anticipate going to the gym 3 times a week, and going grocery shopping once, story time at the Library, and the occasional homeschool group. If my estimates are correct that puts me in some city limits somewhere...3 days a week and I can always park and ride if I want to go to another city.
Today, dispite the economic whoes, the price of gas, and our tight budget I am heading to town. I am breaking free of it all and going for the gusto. My DS already knows about story time, we might swing by the gym for a light swim, and perhaps even go to the park. No one really knows where we might end up by the end of the day..but things certain I will be out of the house for much of the rest of the day. The old comment..don't mind me I'll be home ALL DAY (insert the sound of distain and dread).
To the mommies in the Orange area...that magnet will be mine ...muahahaha.

Growing a Garden

This is how it happened.
Me: DS come here for a minute
DS: Coming!

DS enters room.
DS: Did you want something mommy?
Me:Yes, Would you like to grow are garden?

DS:Yes
Me:What do you think would be good to grow?

DS:Weeeelll!, I want go grow money
Shows me the money in his box

Me:Money doesn't grow, you have to work for it.
DS:Nooo! We can plant the money and water it! And it will grow into a a Money Tree.

So there you have it! That's how you can grow a garden.

Special Thanks to Phil Lesh, and The Allman Brothers

Not long after we arrived in our New town the radio advertised "Phil Lesh and Friends with the Allman Brothers". Considering that my DP formely road the Bus and has had many long strange trips with the likes of Jerry Garcia, Phil Lesh, and Bob Wier, I knew that this concert wasn't going to missed by either of us.
As soon as tickets went on sale my DP bought eight, 4 for each show in our area. We however, did have one little problem, what were going to do with our DS. We have NEVER left him over night with anyone and neither of us felt the scene was appropriate for a four year old. So for the past month i have been building my DS up with the idea of going to stay with his grandmother. Each week he'd ask if it was time to go stay with his granny. Friday evening I built up his suspense even more by packing his bag. Needless to say his bag was exploding at the seams as I allowed him to put what ever he thought he needed to take. Saturday morning he woke up ready to go, he got dressed, ate his breakfast and anticipated his grandmothers arrival. After installing his car seat, there was no time to waste. My DS commanded me to leave his side as he "needed to go NOW"

My DP and I had a wonderful time of exclusively adult time. For the first time he didn't feel constrained by time to get home. We weren't in any hurry. I will say this wasn't the first concert we'd been to sense our son was born. We did see Widespread panic back in 2005, and we have plans of seeing them again when they come through our area next spring.

Aside from our own enjoyment and the fact our little son spread his big boys wings and flew. The show was awesome. I learned that a Character by the name of Jackie Green is pretty talented. SO many times during the evening I was wondering who the great guitar was, and Bam! his face would show up on the screen.

That's really it for now!

Mini Van Madness

Like most every middle class family my family needs two cars. My DP drives nearly 20 minutes to work every day and our family home is also 20 minutes from the nearest incorporated town. With one vehicle my son and I are stranded at home. Before we moved, we got a long perfectly with one vehicle. I rode my bike into town. Now ,we simply live too far out with too many speeding drivers on the road for me to ride my bike safely.
So about 3 weeks ago we started the heavy search for a vehicle that was somewhere around 10 years old, with less than 150K miles, and had three rows of seating. At this point in our lives, fuel economy will have to wait. We settled on getting a mini van. It would be big enough to haul all of our camping gear and the kids could ride without touching each other.
Its been more than a week since we found our diamond in the rough. We scored a great deal on a 1999 ford Windstar SEL. I wasn't too overjoyed in the sense I knew we'd have problems we were buying it from a private seller. No big deal we were several hundred dollars under our budget, and nothing short of major engine repair or a new transmission would break the bank.
The madness with our new mini van didn't start until after we got it home. First we realize that one of the sliding doors will not unlock. At first this was frustrating. However, my first and only minivan had only one door and some how I survived a year with the single door. Now then some other things happened like the alarm going off one morning. My DP and I wasn't aware of the system or how it could possibly be armed. My DP shuts it off, but calls me later to ask if the lights were on in the van. I opened and closed the doors with out any problems. Later, that same day the I caused the alarm to go off, and this time the battery died.
The madness continued the day that my DP and I were in the yard working. I decided to clean the van. It needed some detailing and vacuuming done to the inside. In the 30 minutes I had the doors open the battery died again.
I have a Radian80 Child Passenger Restraint. The significance is that it can be very difficult to install in some vehicle. So far I have found vehicle made by Ford to be the most difficult and I happen to own a Ford Windstar. SO knowing the difficulty before me I took my van and the seat to a Safekids carseat check this past Saturday. I get there and first have a Tech try and tell me my son is too big. (Can someone tell me how someone can go through standardized training but is completely clueless about High weight Harnesses?) I had to get out the Manual, and I asked specifically for a more qualified tech that I knew would be there. She and I both agreed that the install was going to be extremely difficult. The local Policeman thought that the whole thing was funny, because it was evident I know a little something about Child restraints and especially the one my son uses on a regular basis. The seat wasn't the big issue, the BIG ISSUE was my car was leaking a great deal of water onto the ground. When I first pulled into to get my seat checked I could smell the odor of hot Anti-Freeze. So not only did I have the worry of getting the seat installed properly somewhere in my car, I also had the mechanical problems of the vehicle. The police and techs were great though. The techs helped me get my seat into the car. The policemen tried as best they could to see where my vehicle was leaking from and also caused the alarm to go off AGAIN!!! I also couldn't get the tailgate to pop, but I have since learned the tailgate is just heavy and requires a big tug. So the car seat is installed in the middle of the very back of the van. I was disappointed when the head tech recommended I just use a booster. I quickly told her my DS is not mature enough to sit correctly every single time, and with the harness I know he's properly secure the entire time we're in the car.
The car on the other hand, I had to move and park it in front of a big box store. I did the only reasonable thing there was to do in this situation, go shopping. I bought a few supplies for my DS's learning environment, and we looked at Halloween decor, and I bought two gallons of water. I also looked a car seats and thought long and hard about buying another one, so that it would fit in the one of the captains chairs in the middle row of the van. Alas I skipped that idea. I left the store, put water in the van and went home. The first fill up of the Radiator only took a gallon of water. So the leak was bad but not so bad that I had to use all of the water I had purchased. I drove the 15 minutes to the next town and bought some auto stuff for another car, added more water and continued home. Much to my surprise the leak at the point wasn't so bad that my vehicle ran hot.
Of course once I got home I had to drive the van again to go get some replacement parts for our other vehicle. Yet, before I could do this I killed the battery Again, while doing some detail work. While I was at the auto parts store I had the battery and alternator checked, and again it was fine. Now a crazy thing happened while the hood was up on the van. The employee of the auto parts store that was testing my electrical system, thought he'd take a look at the leak. Now he found the actual leak and assured me the part we were looking at was the water pump. So what do I do, I order a water pump. Later however, my DP tells me that is not the water pump, but instead is the power steering pump. Now if I had been thinking I would have looked at the diagram of the pulley system that is under the hood. From this diagram I would have known the leak was coming from the power steering pump and would have saved myself the purchase and return of a water pump.
To ice the cake that is my "new" mini van we have to move the Child passenger restraint back to our old car while we put the van in the shop for a complete over haul and tune-up. Did I mention that although the seat is installed in the van, it didn't go in with ease, and require two people. So all of the difficulty and frustration I experienced at the Car seat check, and the worry I went through driving the van back home while it was leaking was all for NOTHING! I now know how to install the seat in the back of the van, but who knows if I will be do it.

That's really all, we'll see what happens after we put a few hundred into simple repairs and an owners manual.

"home" sick

So I miss my old home in the Mountains. I know that sounds very silly considering its been nearly two months since I said good bye. We left so quickly I didn't have a chance to say good bye to the friends I made, I didn't have a chance to let it all sink into my head.

Over the past week or so I have found myself very sick for my home in the Mountains. I truly didn't think living somewhere for just 7 month would cause such heart ache, but it has. I lived in one city for nearly 5 years and kissed that place good bye with a celebration. Deep inside the day I left that city I hoped nothing but my close friends would bring me back. I certainly would never want to live there EVER Again. I occasionally go back to see them and I get a very fast reminder as to why I don't want to live there...Traffic, rude people, and Tow trucks.
Back to my home sickness. When we found out we were moving to the Mountains this past November I was so relieved. We would move to an area of the country that appreiciated a slow pace of life, where living off the land was rewarded, the air and enviroment were Great. Finally, I could live off the grid and meet other like minded folks. Organic Gardening wasn't something a family tried,its what people did.
So I settled into my Mountain bungelow and for 7 months I met many people and visited many places. I think part of my home sickness comes from the fact I didn't get a chance to say good bye to the people I had met. The area we lived in was pretty spread out and many of my friends lived in rather isolated areas. Most of us got together at parks or at a coffee shop rather than driving to each others home. From the moment I found out we were moving until the day we pulled out, I was unable to tell anyone, other than thos that use the Internet. I digress, my time spent in the mountains was more of a vacation with nature.
We got there in winter, and enjoyed the ice and snow. Spring came and the Mountains were a live with blossoms and green. In late May the Cicadis came. I feel very lucky to have been there when the 17 year cicadis emerged from the ground. Albeit millions are large alien looking insects flying about can be irritating, and messy. We heard their song for nearly 6 weeks before they all finally died.
I also miss our mountain road. It was perched on the side of mountain, overlooking the "holler" below. It curved around the outside of the mountain and went down into the town of Mars Hill. In places the tree branches covered the road like a tunnel, in other places you could several ridges of Mountains.
I miss how the Mountains changed through out the day. Effected by the sun, the mountains could be a clear and green as moss covered ground, or a blue as the sky above. The mountain across from our home was the land mark, Baily Mountain. I didn't know that, until a local told me. Who'd thought I would live somewhere that people know about like local folk lore.
I miss how close knit the communities were. Most of my friends had friends in every corner of the county, and once in a while they'd all get together for a party. The funny thing is the number of people I crossed pathes with who knew someone else I knew and I had no CLUE!!!
I can go on and on about my love of this magical place I would love to call home again. I miss it soo much, that I doubt my current country home could replace.
Its not that I don't appreciate where I live. Our mountain home was a two bedroom bungelow, with no flat yard, perched on the side of a foot slope. The house was about 1/2 the size of the one we live in right now. I am proud of our new residence, I am not however happy with its location. If only it were in teh mountains....with green pastures and lots of happy farm animals.

At this poinst I am just rambling. Please enjoy your day.

Planning my Child House

Maria Montessori was the founder of the Montessori Education. You can find out a lot about her just by doing a Google search. She believed that children were sensitive to learning in the early years. She also believed in freedom and independence for the children.
Many of her concepts I have embraced as just a part of my parenting. That is respect for the child, planning my home around their needs and encouraging my child's Independence. Although I haven't encouraged independence in the traditional way, of forcing him to do it. When he is ready, for example to get himself dressed, I have shown him how to get dressed on his own.

Since we have moved I my head has been spinning over the many lessons and activities that are within the Montessori approach to early child hood learning. I know that for certain I want to set up a learning environment, but at the same time I know that I cannot feature the hundreds of activities provided by numerous resources. I also know that many of the practical life activities are just a matter of daily life at home, so again I don't need a special area for practical life. Some of the more "academic work will need some special areas.
At first I was hoping to set up several learning areas in my home. I came to realize that my DS might get more out of the activities if they were in one learning "environment." So I have set aside an area of the living room that will be for him and his needs. However before I do that there's some other things I am going to have to do.
First, the entry way of our home lacks proper coat hooks and a designated place for shoes. In general I would like these things to be kept in the bedroom, but with winter coming I would prefer that coats and muddy shoes stay as close to the door as possible. In this area I will hang several coat hooks low enough for my DS to reach. My DS has been hanging up his own coat since he was about 18 months old, mainly because he has had his very own coat hook.
Also in this same entry way is the laundry and utility pantry. My DS has always had his own cleaning tools. So far he has a small duster, I bought a dry mop that has a telescoping handle for he and I to use, and he has his own broom. My plans are to purchase a sponge mop and cut off the handle and get a new broom. He has had his current broom for three years now and its not in the best shape for good sweeping. All of these items will be kept where he can easily reach them and use them if he needs to.
Next is my kitchen. Now this is a full adult size kitchen yet my DS has his own things in this kitchen too. First I will be purchasing a step stool for the kitchen. We already own one stool, but its not always ready to use in the kitchen. So we need one that is always stationed in the kitchen. I plan to rearrange the fridge so things like Yogurt, Cheese and fresh veggies are all within reach. Currently all of our kitchen utensils are kept in low drawers. My DS knows where they are. Because we haven't done any work with knives together, I have decided to keep them out of reach until he's ready to use a knife.
All of his dishes are kept in a low cabinet. As of right now they are in a box and I don't think this system working. If he cannot find what he's looking for he gets easily frustrated. I will be rearranging that area as well. I have another bank of cabinets I am using for "homeschooling." these Cabinets will house all of the a activities that i am working on before putting them into the learning environment. I will also house supplies and things that I am stock piling. There's also a lower set of cabinets I have decided to use for art supplies. I know that the Montessori method encourages the use of low open shelves. The art supplies such as paint and glue I would rather keep in the kitchen. I think having these "messy" items in the kitchen will make for easier clean up when my DS is finished using them. My DS will know where these items are will be taught how to properly set the area up for using them.
The dining room is next. So far as I can tell there isn't anything really needed in this area. My DS is tall enough to sit at the table with out a booster seat. He understands that dinner and other events around the table are for the entire family. So he is with us at dinner enjoying all that the entire households has to offer at dinner time.
The living room is a room that is lacking A LOT of things. Its not even adult friendly, let alone child friendly. The room is a massive room host to the TV, stereo , DVD player, and two couches. My ultimate plan for this room is to have our learning environment set up here. It will be host to the language, sensorial, history, math area of the house. Now this will include a table and chairs for his size and a rug. Once I set up the area I plan on taking a few day show him how to "respect" the environment. Making sure he puts the work back, how to set things up, ect.
Since we plan on moving the DVD player and Stereo equipment out of his reach, mainly because as adults we have a hard time using it at a lower level, we will giving our DS his own TV and CD player. These items will be in his bedroom.
The next room that will need some planning is his bathroom. So far we have a stool, and low hooks for him. The bath tub is only used by him, so we have toys and tear less shampoo. NOW if I could teach him that all he needs is a little bit of shampoo each time, we'd be in business. He already knows how to turn on the water and how to make the right temperature. He knows where the towels are kept. The tooth paste and tooth brush are within his reach and he has been shown and has mastered putting the right amount of tooth paste on the brush. He is left to brush his own teeth, but I do observe.
The last and final place is my DS's bedroom. The space is a shared space, with my DS being the primary resident. Each child will get a book case for their very own toys and books. Each child will get a dresser. My DS's dresser will be labeled so that he can put his clothes away in the right drawer. Each child will have their own chair for TV viewing or other activities. The beds are bunked and I have found this to be difficult when teaching my DS how to make his bed. I have difficulty making this particular bed and I can imagine what a four year old must experience. There's also the issue of the closet. My DS like many kids of his generation simply has too many toys. After moving I have established that only about quater of his toys and books are out for him to play with. His favorites are his puzzle collection, and toys that allow him to pretend. THe rest of his toys and books are stored in the closet. He closet at this point is full and not usable for clothing, though he doesn't have clothing to hang up either.
My bedroom is home of the computer. For the most part my DS does spend some time in our room but its not entirely child friendly. Since the computer is here, there is a low shelf with his computer games on it. He is allowed to play computer games when no one else is using the computer. For now he isn't allowed online, not because of online predators but because I really don't want any extra soft ware down loaded. So until he can read some of the pop ups that sometime happen on line (even with pop up blocker) I am going to keep off line.
As I get each area of the home more adapted to my DS I will share pictures and ideas.

When the Door Bell Rings

How many times have I found myself in this state. Its 11 AM in the morning, I haven't brushed my teeth, the breakfast dishes are still out, I have started some project that has turned the house into a giant wreck, and my child looks like something from Lord of the Flies when ,DING DONG!!! The door bell rings and suddenly the panic of OMG, the house is a wreck and my breath stink runs over my entire being.
It happened much like that today. I had been stumbling around the house since about 9:30. After checking e mail and getting breakfast for my DS I had decided on mopping the floors and rearranging our living room. All the while this morning I sensed that there was something important I had to do today or going to happen although I had forgotten what it was. So I am taking my time, leisurely cleaning the living room and washing laundry. My DS and I even stop for a little while to make "cake". My DS wanted to pretend he was running a kitchen. When we stopped pretending we started on washing the bath mats for the bathroom when the Door bell rang.
All I could think of at that moment, was who could it possibly be, no one ever visits me out in the boonies. My DS went running for the door. Mind you he's wearing a pair of dirty shorts and still had paint on him from yesterday with chocolate in the corner of his mouth from the brownie he at for breakfast. I move my DS aside and open the door, wearing stained T-Shirt and Spongebob shorts. Standing in the door way was one of my DP's co-workers. She had come to sample the water. Now lets rewind a moment. ...

Yesterday my DP comes in very stressed with the test results from our well. He says its been a very rough day please read. There under "findings" were words that NO Family wants to read , "fecal Coliform, e-coli, Positive". That's right we have fecal bacteria in our well. As a result the well needs to be tested again and this time by someone from the health department, and NOT my DP. My DP was telling me all of this while I was rushing around the house attempting to get my DS and I ready for church.
Back to the events of today....
The lady must have been a full time Domestic Engineer previous to her working and noticed the fear of disaster in my face for she said she would take her time getting the sample she needed outside. WOW!! Relief. Well I was somewhat relieved until I went back to tidy up the kitchen. When I got there I swear the mess had multiplied into some sort of a monster. I am pretty sure I got the kitchen back in order in less than 5 minutes. At this point though the dishwasher will need to be reloaded as I used it as more of a dirty dish storage unit. I slammed all of the dirty cast iron pans into the oven and quickly swept the floor. My DS helped me as I was , begging him to please wash the counter tops. The poor guy seen his mother in a panic and was stunned. LOL. He was more interested in the "water sample" lady than actually making the house more presentable.
After the kitchen was up to par. That was the dirty dishes were hidden out of sight in the modern marvel known as the dish washer, I dashed into my bedroom and changed shorts. I only hope the woman didn't notice I was still wearing my PJ's at Noon. Then I calmly walked back to the kitchen to do some decluttering of the bar. I helped my DS put on a shirt. I had to find time to calm down. The house wasn't the marvelous wreck it was when she first arrived.
After a few minutes she returned to the front door and this time I could smile. She took the water sample. All the while I am hoping to find an opening to explain why my house is in a undesirable state. She asks "so you guys home school, that's what Erik said". I thought to myself "YES! I finally have my chance." I told her that yes were homeschooling and next week we'd be starting things full force and as a result I have had to put extra effort into lesson planning and such so the house has been a bit neglected. She told me about her homeschooling days and how things would go for her family. I was at least glad that she's been there.
SO as I closed the door behind her my DS asked "Do we have to clean fast like that again." I couldn't help laughing.

My Beginning to a Consensual Living Life.

So I took an adventure with sticker charts and the results...drum roll please.

They didn't work. Well they did and didn't. My DS would go to sleep in his own room and my step kids would clean up their messes. On the other hand my DS would still cry for me because he doesn't like the dark and my step kids resented me for laying down the law. So in all reality I got some behavior I wanted from my kids and a whole lot more less respect than I had wished for from my kids.

Yet truly I came to the conclusion I don't want anything getting in the way of us building a relationship. Something as positive as a sticker chart can get in the way when it becomes negative. The negative being they didn't earn the sticker if they didn't hold up their end of the bargain.

For weeks into the my sticker charting adventure it came to light the problems with the method. I did have some preconcieved notions but they were more about the process being demeaning rather than what really happened in my case.

SO again I found myself at square one, how can I get my needs met (Not my wants) and the kids get what they need met without any punishment. How can I communicate my needs to the kids so they understand how I feel?

There other half of that is the reality I don't want to parent my step kids. Now before the reader starts assuming I don't care about them let me say this. I am not their mother, they have a mother and father. I feel like my place isn't to be a mom. That doesn't mean I don't care about them, I want our relationship to be different. I don't want a similar relationship with my step kids have with their mother. Believe me, they don't want that either!! What I want to be in my step kids lives is another adult who can guide them...rather than someone who constantly disciplining ect. Maybe a shoulder to cry on or someone who can work out a problem for math class. So how on Earth can I accomplish this. I began to research and I found what seems like a perfect solution. I will get to that solution in a minute.

There's also the case of my DS who brought me to the idea of sticker charting. His sticker chart over the summer grew and grew from just three things he was responsible for doing, to 5 things before I decided to toss it away. I realize my DS is four and yearning to just be a kid. I also realized that the sticker chart and time outs weren't working fr him. IF they were he would have actually stopped hitting and stopped getting out of bed. I have had to revamp how I live with him as well. I know why he hits and I know why he doesn't like to stay in bed. He has told me time and time again. I think its time I listened and respected what he's going through.

So I decided to start researching Gentle Discipline all over again. I found the concept of consensual living. I have hit around this idea for sometime for living iwth my DS, but I did't know it had a name. I also don't know anyone who actually uses this concept in the real world.

What I do know is that it takes the parents creating a loving enviroment with lots of love and respect for the childern. Then it takes some undestanding of basic communication skills. This is an area I am going to have to work on, esspecially when it coems to my step kids. Lucky for them I have plenty of time to practice with my DS.

So off to a reward free, punishment free life with my son. http://www.consensual-living.com/

Seeing the light

I wouldn't say an actual Light as in a divine moment, it was more or less like a HUGE compact florescent bulb going off above my Partner's head. You mean he doesn't have to go to school next year.
My son in less than a year will be old enough to start school in a public education institution. However according to North Carolina state rules, a child is not required to do Kindergarten and does not have to register as a home school student until they are old enough to start the first grade. My son will be six or seven depending on his maturity level when he enters the first grade.
While many of my son's peers are headed off to preschool, and at the same time mothers are scrambling to get thereon time I am here at home. The reason is my partner and I have decided to give Homeschooling the old college try. Now in many respects I am a home schooler, I always find the home schoolers where ever I live. I haven't stopped looking for them now and I plan to continue looking until I find a group that meets my needs. I come up with things for my son to explore and I search for those "teachable" moments.
Why is now different from all the other times. Well in some ways I had considered putting my DS in preschool for a while. I had planned on finishing my degree and giving him a chance in a "structured" enviroment. Just not two weeks ago I was calling preschools and my partner was trying to get a grasp on the fact that not even a year from now our son, his baby, would be going off to kindergarten. More than anything I think my DP found comfort in the pressure being let off from our son.
So next week is our first "official week." Basically, I will be scheduling my house hold activities around his desire to explore. The house should be ready by then to fully help him explore his desire to learn and understand the world around him.

Presenting My Kids

Well its true that most 25 year old women do not have the responsibility of guiding three kids through life. In fact most 25 years old women in this day and age don't even have children. The ones that do have children, have children under the age of 6. So what makes me so darn special in that I have 3 kids to worry over, that would be that two of them are my step kids ages 10 and 12. They are will be known for all intensive purposes as The boy(10) and The girl(12), my son will be labeled as my son.
I have just spent the nearly three months staying at home every day with all three children. I'll be honest this was no cake walk and its far beyond easy. Yet I tried to make it work. I think they tried as well and the results were somewhat surprising. We started the summer as a mountain family. The boy and girl were afforded freedom with riding their bikes into the small quaint mountain town down down from our house. They completed the summer reading program at the local library in a matter of weeks instead of months. During this time in the mountains we went camping, hiking, bike riding, swimming, and they also went skating, the boy went to work one day with his dad, the girl spent much of her time on the Internet at night.
Then SMACK dab in the middle of the summer when the heat couldn't be any more unbearable, when things were just great enough to go off on a long summer vacation in the cool of the NC mountains we MOVED!!! I give my step kids a lot of credit they helped us move an entire house across the state. They helped me find boxes, pack boxes and most importantly pack the moving van. As if packing the house wasn't enough, less than 6 hours after finally loading the truck it was time to unpack it. It was a Huge undertaking for our family of 5. The boy and girl hadn't ever moved before. In the past they were with their mother when their father and I decided to move. Aside from us moving around their mother has always stayed put. I can understand their frustration and their desire to stop working. I was 11 when my mother moved us out our family's home. Yet I had the luxury of about 5 adults and teen age boys to do most of the moving. I was merely a side line cheerleader. My step kids on the other hand pulled as much as weight as we needed them too and the job was done in time for us to all collapse in our beds.
The next week was me unpacking as quickly as I could while the kids found all the best hiding places in the house. There's still one secret hiding place that my step son has yet to reveal. The next week was spent in agony as we waited for our Direct TV to be installed and if we were going to get a phone so we could get Internet. Did I mention our new home is so far out of the way that Embark doesn't offer Broad band. So after 5 years of sacrifice and hard work we are using dial up. Off my tangent and on to reality. So I tried to get the kids out side with little result, quiet frankly it was much to hot and humid outside. Then there was the day I got stung by a yellow jacket. Trust me no one wants that to happen. The good news there is, I am not deathly allergic to Yellow jackets. Also that week Direct TV showed up here and told me I couldn't get satellite services. Imagine the disappointment, for nearly 2 weeks we hadn't watched any of our favorite shows and now we couldn't get them at all. This is when the kids started getting creative!!!
On a night when the boredom was unbearable the kids did something for their dad and I that I will always cherish. They put on a play!!!
Though I don't know the name of the play it was written by the boy and girl and stared all three of them. It started with nearly two hours of waiting while the kids sorted out their sudden inspiration. Now this was great for their dad and I, as we needed to some catching up for the day. Then they finally allowed us in the living room. The stage was set, the girl sitting at her convenience store counter as she says her lines in comes the boy stating there's a monster outside. In the blink of an eye they both agree to hide as the monster covered in red paint, appears. The monster was my son. Now this was more funny than scary he hit every mark so perfectly. He liked eating his brothers and sisters. The boy and girl had planned every moment of the skit with decor, make up ,costumes and lighting.
Then there was the week in which every thing was about "picking a card" or "watch this". Previous to us leaving the mountains I had taken the kids to see a Magician. The boy and girl were so inspire by the performance they both checked out books from the library on Card tricks and magic tricks. I was never into Magic tricks. I was always too slow with my hands. The fact my step kids were interested I thought was great. Over several weeks they each mastered several card tricks and the boy even mastered a few simple magic tricks. Now I will admit there was a time when I simply got tired of picking card and watching the next trick. Yet from their experimentation I am sure they will impress many of their friends this up coming school year.
The boy and girl's desire to perform and act is something I think should be encouraged. My partner told me when they were kids they liked putting on puppet shows and plays. I truly think that they both have potential in this area. The girl really wants to go to school to be an actress. In some ways I think her talents lay in stage acting, but who would want to give up the glamour and fame of Hollywood if you have what it takes. I see the boy as more of an entertainer such as a comedian or comical magician.
Yet if the stage or big screen isn't what they are destine for it has to be athletes. One day a few years back the girl and I played Volleyball and ever since had showed an interest. This year she will be going out for the school team. By all means I hope she makes the team and proves a worthy athlete. The boy this summer has been very interested in Ice Hockey. Its no wonder either we are now members of a local Ice Skating facility which also hosts several Ice Hockey leagues. He took the time this summer to read a book about Ice Hockey and really showed himself off on the Ice. For kid who doesn't go ice skating very often I would say he has the potential to do great things in hockey.
Now their final week here was also the first week of the Olympic games. Now i have a slight obsession with the Olympics. I really enjoy obscure Olympic sports and the stories that are often told about the athletes and places. So every evening we watched everything from Syncronized diving, to beach volley ball, and gymnastic. They summer Olympics were great we all were really cheering for Micheal Phelps by the time he won his Fifth Olympic gold. All of the kids shown a genuine interest in Gymnastics. The boy and girl have both been involved in gymnastics. I find that fantastic and would really like to put my son in gymnastics as well. As a kid I always wanted to take gymnastics but never got a chance. So every night I found myself yelling..STOP DOING gymnastics in the living room. In some ways I couldn't blame them, the yard is hot and has yellow jackets flying about. Their bedrooms aren't big enough, and the hard wood wide open spaces of the living room is just too tempting. I have a black mark across one wall where the children were practicing their hand stands. At first I was going to clean it with a magic eraser but might just leave it as a reminder of the summer games. After all was said and done my step daughter said she'd like to do gymnastics one more time.
Less than a week ago the boy and girl was returned to their mother's home. I can only hope that the few weeks of no TV, no Internet, and plain "nothing to do" inspires a deeper level of creativity. I hope the girl does make the school volley ball team and that the boy acquires some new magic tricks, perhaps one or two that his dad doesn't know. :)

From "Being Domestic" to Being Domestic

There was a time in nearly every Domestic Engineers life that we weren't a Domestic Engineer. At some point we were all just kids having fun, good fun that was funny. There was a life before we had children and home that we joked about "Being Domestic". I don't know how many times I would tell friends that I was "Being domestic" when I washed dishes for my dorm room or cleaned up at my parents house. One of friends called her self "being domestic" when she washed clothes for her boy friend. To us it was all a joke, most of were in college by that point just having a good ole time. The fact we were a majority at our school and that the vast majority of us were planning a life on the career path made the joke of "Being Domestic" all the more funny. NONE of us had the intention of really "being domestic".
What brings this on is an Innocent camera that I took to my local one hour photo processor. This particular disposable camera had been with me since before my DP and I ever called ourselves a couple. We were talking at the time I bought this particular camera. Still the same, this camera and its contents were over 5 years old and it had keeping the secrets of my previous life. Now before your little head drops off into the world of weird sex or illegal activities (okay underage drinking is illegal), that's hardly the case . I had actually forgotten what was on this camera, I just knew I might have some explaining to do. Was it the camera that had me funneling beer, or was it the one with me passed out drunk. I truly didn't know. What I did know is I didn't want the kids to see.
After about an hour I go back to the photo processor open the envelope and I was surprised. It was pictures from a Spiritual retreat. I was relieved, what wonderful pictures I had of some old friends from the Christian group. After about ten pictures BOOM!! The reality hit, I was suddenly shot back to a place when I wasn't ever having children and there was nothing peaceful and serene about the pictures. I was in my dorm room on what appears to be a typical Thursday night in college. 5 or 6 people in my room with all of us passing the camera around taking pictures of each other. My initial reaction was Oh My God! the photo processor had seen these pictures. The reaction the followed was surprising, I missed those college days...or did I? At the time I when I was a single, independent female, doing what ever she wished day and night. It wasn't as if I had eased my way into my current life, it was more or less I was flung from one life style to another in a single menstral cycle.
Suddenly I found myself standing there with kids all around and my DP reflecting on a by gone era of my life as if I had missed something. I critiqued the faces of my old friends, friends that after I had my son disappeared from my life. I looked at the contents of my dorm room, which was really a mish-mash of objects I had collected. I still remembered joking with some of the girls in the pictures about "when we get married". Honestly it was the biggest running joke among many of my friends at the time.
My thoughts at those moments were suddenly confused why wasn't I wanting to rip a hole through time to be childless and man less after all it wasn't like I was ready to leave the party scene behind when I moved in with my DP and got pregnant. So I was conflicted. I was sprung out of the childless man less "being domestic" world of a 20 year old the day I found out I was pregnant. It wasn't that uncommon. A couple moves into together, one wild night, and nine months later. Yet it happened to me, though what I did wasn't normal. I still laugh that my DP and I decided to have a kid. Its true. Although I wasn't the only domestic engineer I had met that moved in with their partner and got a big surprise. It was more than that, they fell in love with staying at home. They love being dedicated to their families more than anything else in the world. That was exactly it; I love my life as it is right now. It took nearly two days of reflecting to sort out these feelings that I didn't truly like my independent life. I had been taught as many women in my generation have that Working and living alone are best. You can do what ever you want. Being Domestic is more than our mother's and Grandmothers had told us about. Honestly I like that I can spend my days with my children and realize at 4 in the afternoon I am still wearing my PJ's. If I had actually followed the first path I was on, I am sure I would be up at 4AM on a research vessel somewhere with people I didn't really like to begin with or worse staying up nights on end crunching data. What ever the case may be it wouldn't be sitting here blogging and wondering if I should eat Fruit loops or actually go fold the clothes that's been in the dryer since Friday. In all reality I am still doing what ever I want. I cook what I want, tell the the childern to do what I want, sleep in nearly as long I want to, stay on line as long as the house is still standing, decide to go shopping when I want to. I am the boss of no one else but me.
Too all of the Domestic Engineers out there who are just like me, good luck!

From

om

So I have moved and here's the rest of the story

So we pulled out of mars hill nearly two weeks ago and now we are living in a small rual community. All is well from a domestic Engineers point of view. The house is up and running though not entirely not unpacked. Did I mention we found a great house. But I'll blog about the wonders of our new home later.
Lets just say when you move 4 hours from your previous home you have little time to reflect or to really digest what is happening. For myself I have been only a grand total of two times since our computer Crashed several days before we moved. That was a real downer as I wanted to tell about all of the things we'd planned to do. I now find myself blogging from the public library.
Just a short time line of how things have gone in our move.
-computer crashed
-We moved
-I have been unpacking
-Got online last week
-Online now to give a quick update

That's really all for now

Moving right along

This time next week I'll be in a new town with new people, in a new house. For the first time my DP and I feel like we have arrived into the middle middle class of America. Sadly though there's evidence we want be here long with the economy. All the sad stuff aside.
I have been doing my best to pack up the house, keep the kids entertained, and make sense of all thats happening. Not 7 months ago I was in this situation, we packed the care and moved nearly 6 hours away.
So how am I coping. I am doing things very slowly. This house has a grand total of 6 rooms plus a garage. What does that mean. I am taking one room a day for 6 days. All that should be left is the furniture. I don't think I could handle a lightening quick move. I am trying to stick to some sort of routine. In past moves, they happened and it was over. The entire world for the family was thrown out of balance. This time packing a few boxes a day, and asking a few extra chores of the kids seems to be working.
The kids and i are both extremely excited and we cannot wait to get to our new home. My DP knows that just one day after we arrive we has to start his first day of work. I can only imagine. I will be left at home with three kids, a pile of boxes, and not a friend for more than 2 hours a way in any direction.
Things I am looking forward too. More room. This particular house we are moving in is over 1200 square ft. Two Bathrooms. We've lived with a single bathroom for nearly 2 years and now its time we up grade. A dish washer. I once lived in a apartment with a dishwasher, LOVED it. For the past 4 years though I have been toiling away over a sink, handing washing every dirty dish. 3 spacious bed rooms. We've spent most of our time as a family living in two bedrooms dwellings. There was a time when we lived in a single wide that had 3 bedrooms but one of the rooms was taken as our office.
The other biggie on my list of things I am looking forward to is the School system. I have wanted for a long time to home school my child. Mostly because everywhere else i had lived the schools systems were marginal at best. Yet, now we are moving to an area where people from neighboring counties pay extra for use of the public schools. The preschools are also said to be top of the line. I haven't fully researched the schools just yet but I most certainly will.
That's all for now.

On Moving

As much as my family has moved in the past 5 years one would think we are a military family. Well not really we moved 4 times in one county. Still moving takes a bit of fortitude and organization. The first 4 times we moved I had the help of my DP. It was easy he and I packed boxed and moved our things together across town. We packed and unpacked like a dual machine.
The last time I packed up a house I was primarily on my own. My Dp was working full time and it was all on me to find boxes, schedule a storage unit, and pack up the house. For this particular move I had about 4 yard sales leading up to the move.
Now six months after we moved our things across the state of North Carolina we are moving half back in the direction in which we came. Once again its up to me to pack up our mountain home, schedule a U-haul truck and find a storage unit in our new location. Now this isn't the norm. This move is happening super fast. We don't even have time to find a place to rent in the mean time. So we'll be seeking a Hotel for accommodation for a few weeks and then move into a rental.
I realize there are domestic engineers who have the benefit of calling the local moving company. I am not really sure how to go about finding a reliable moving company. In fact I wish we had the luxury of it but moving three times in one year doesn't afford me the joy of watching someone else move my things.
This move is starting like the last successful move. It will start with me cleaning each room as if we were going to live there long term. I would move furniture, clean and polish furniture, toss anything I don't want and then start packing. This method I adopted from the world renowned Flylady. She is the one who taught me the baby steps to house keeping and home organization. The benefit to this method is that you don't move with anything you don't want and you don't have a lot of cleaning afterwards. Twice I have moved and it felt like it took me longer to clean the house after our things were packed and moved than it did for the actual packing and moving. So for me cleaning my home as it is, is the first major step.
The next thing is the "box hunt". It maybe tempting to go down to the local U-haul and pick up a few packing boxes for nearly $7 each but please save your money. There's LOTS of places to get cardboard boxes for free. The number one place in most places in the U.S. is the local liquor store. Now unfortunately for myself, I live in a liquor free county (unless you count the moon shine stills hidden in the hills). So I don't really have the option of stopping by the liquor store for boxes. My other option is the grocery store. I am lucky our local grocery store offers boxes at the front of the store. They are there for a good portion of the day but sometimes they are taken to the compactor. I have lived in places where fire codes prohibited retail facilities from keeping boxes in the store. They either had to be compacted or disposed of in a cardboard recycling bin. Now if you aren't willing to spend money on boxes, you live in a dry county and local fire code prohibits card board boxes from hanging out in the store, you are going to have to suck up your pride and go diving. Dumpster diving! Before you do that put out a line on freecycle or craigslist. You might be fortunate enough that someone is willing to pass along their moving boxes. Now back to dumpster diving. This is one of those things that sucking up self pride and saving a dollar really counts. Just think you are doing the enviroment a favor by not buying a new box, and you are saving yourself a bit of money as well. First and foremost there are some rules for dumpster diving for boxes everyone should know.
#1 Never get in a dumpster if you are alone. You may be able to get out !!!!
#2 IF the dumpster doesn't say "card board Only" don't waste your time. There might be a box in there but its probably got some really disgusting food on it.
#3 Do this in the day time. Most Dumpsters are located behind stores that are poorly lit at night. If you have to go at night take someone with you.
#4 Don't dive in a dumpster after it has rained. Now this a no brainier right? I wish, but even several days after it has rained the cardboard in the dumpster can still be water damaged. Its best to wait until you know the dumpsters have been emptied and its hasn't rained for a few days.
#5 Medium sized Collapsed boxes are the best boxes. At first looking in a dumpster of flattened card board can be a little upsetting. However, you can rebuild any box that has only been collapsed to flatten it. Just a roll of packing tape you are on your way. Also, you can get a lot of collapsed boxes at one time in your car.
#6 NEVER get in a dumpster when you are a lone. I realize this is a the second time I have mentioned this, but its VERY IMPORTANT. If you do get in a dumpster when you have help with you, its also important that you can get out. Yes free boxes are tempting but if you get stuck in a dumpster it would be pretty embarrassing for that to show up in the police blotter (Jane Doe 29 was rescued from the local dollar store card board box dumpster Friday evening after she went in for some free boxes. ) Now moving is also a good reason to grabbed a refrigerator box for the kids. I will get to what I do with my kids when moving day comes.
With every move I have spent lots of money of good quality tape. The last time we moved our things stayed in storage unit for nearly 8 months. Its important to purchase tape that will make through the move. Ideally duct tape is a bad option. The adhesive on these types of tape don't hold well in heat and humidity. Scotch tape for gift wrapping is too weak to really hold a heavy box together. The best option is clear packing tape but even that can be cheap. Its not a bad idea to buy the good quality stuff. I personally like the clear tape that gets damaged if it sicks to itself. If tape sticks to its self and pulls a part easily its probably not very good tape.
Now I have been fortunate with my last move. We decided while unpacking that we should keep all of our boxes. We had intended on moving from our current home into something bigger.
If you have childern moving can be difficult. The emotional toll of moving shows in each child differently. My DS said he didn't care that we were moving. My step kids were sad we moved over 4 hours away from them. One of the things Have done over the past few years is pick up a Large box for the kids to play in while I am packing. Its up to them what the box becomes. The first time I gave my DS a box for moving he was just over a year old and destroyed the box in only a little while. The last time we moved, the box I gave him was a master piece of coloring and scribbling. I was also surprised how much time he spent drawing and playing in the box. It was his on little world away from all of the chaos of moving.
So I am off to start on my home I have less than two weeks to make this move happen as smoothly as possible.