Failing your child with the reward of success

At one point or another all parents will find themselves in a situation that doesn't ignite pride but instead ignites a need to defend your child's need to know they failed. It may be that one day your child comes home from school with an A on paper they you can clearly see isn't A work. It might be that your child was supposed to earn enough stickers to go to a class party and didn't but went anyway. Too often childern are rewarded when they haven't preformed to a certain level. These times are when parents truly need to step up and ask why?
I found myself in this strange situation a few weeks ago. My three year old son had been attending AWANAS at a local church. AWANA's uses bible verse memorization and group activities to engage childern in the life of Christ. Children who memorize bible verse units are rewarded with patches to put on a vest. Since August my son and I had been working on a near weekly basis doing bible study and memorization. I was amazed that he could spit out two or three verses a week, he was just barely three when we started. After 10 months of working he had completed all of the bible verses for his age group and thus completed his first work book. The reward was a small bear to attach to his vest. He had even finished early and was very excited about getting his first book award. I was excited to because for the first time in his life he had done a group activity and in the process accomplished the monumental task of memorizing nearly 100 bible versus.
It was an evening earl this June when we showed up to the award ceremony. He was excited he was finally going to receive his award. We arrived just in time for it to start. His age group was going to go second after the 2 year olds. Finally, the big moment had arrived. He was up on stage. Things kicked off with a song and then one by one each child was called to recieve their award. They first when through all of the First year awards and my son's name wasn't called. I had assumed since we were a bit late that things were out of order. Then they called the second year awards. Then finally the announcer said "And this years participation award goes to Nathan J. For participating in Cubbies". I was very confused at this point. My son didn't just participate in cubbies. He and I had put forth a lot of effort to earn his patches. He had all of his patches so why then didn't he get his first year award.
Nathan asked where his bear was and I told him we'd have to go talk to someone. I didn't really know what was happening. My first thought was because my family didn't attend this church on a weekly basis that we weren't allowed to get the Full award. Then I realized that wasn't the right way to think about things the first church we attended for AWANA's had a lot of participants who didn't attend on a weekly basis. I left the auditorium and started gathering my questions. I found one of his class room teachers and asked why he didn't get his first year award and she said he didn't know the versus. He wasn't their enough. My heart boiled with furry. Not because my son hadn't accomplished this task but because no one told me he wasn't preforming in class. In fact they were rather insistent that I bring his book so he could get his patches. I was upset that everyone acted as though things were fine my son was being rewarded for half way doing things. That wasn't okay with me. Either my child makes an "A" or he doesn't. I couldn't believe that was happening even at church.
I actually had to leave and sit in the car I was so upset. My son and I had nearly 3 full weeks to review and work on any versus he didn't know and none of his teachers told me. Like I said he was already given his patches. For three weeks i was under the impression that things were fine. After the ceremony was over I found the coordinators for his age group and tried as hard as possible to remain calm. I asked her why my son had his patches for the versus he'd learned if hadn't actually done them class. Why was under the impression for nearly a month that my child had done the work needed to earn those patches. Honestly at this point I didn't want my son to even have a vest full of patches he didn't earn. The coordinator didn't really know what I was talking about. She was actually impressed that my son had gotten things done. She said there had been a mix up and some of the kids didn't get the right awards. Additionally there was confusion over who had actually finished their books. That explanation was fine with me. It didn't change the fact my son was recognized in front of every as only as a participant but I can let that go.
I had found myself having to take up for my son's possible failure. It was a strange place to be to say the least. I can only imagine what it will be like later on if he goes to school. I expect those who are in charge of son and his education be it religious or academic tell me when he isn't doing superior work. I wouldn't dare be hurt by it in the least. In fact I would be very appreciative. I would be empowered to help my child succeed at a later time.