The Great Pumpkin Experiment

Like all great Domestic Engineers, life would be boring and uneventful if it weren't for those times we decided to experiment. In the past I have experimented with baking bread, cooking vegan meals, sewing clothes. Many of these experiments usually are an unguided processes that leaves A HUGE mess in its wake. It also Never fails that we decided on said experiments on a day when the calendar is full already.


Friday morning started out as an average day. My step son and DP went of to school and work. My son and I stayed behind to watch TV, surf the net, work on house hold chores, for myself aim to get out of the House by 6:30PM for a greatly anticipated Mom's Night Out. At around 10AM my DS come to me for an activity. I decide now is the time cut open a Jack O lantern sized pumpkin. In my mind it will be fun, we'll gut a pumpkin, toast the seeds and chop up the rest and boil it. It seemed simple enough. My DS was beaming with excitement. This pumpkin had been given to him by a family friend. We had intended to carve it for Halloween but instead used some parts that were similar to Mr. Potato Head to decorate the pumpkin. It sat on the porch for nearly an entire month decorated on each side with a face from the horror classics.


We cut open the top of the pumpkin and I reached my hand inside, grabbed a handful of pumpkin guts and my DS followed. We put the guts on the news paper the pumpkin was sitting upon. At that point I was thinking, how much the pumpkin stinks, and what a mess we were making. Just as the pumpkins guts were all laying on the table for all the world to see the door bell rings. My land lord was there to tell me to turn on the water as it was time to Chlorinate the drinking water pipes. (Long story short we had some well problems and in order to fix the problems we now use UV light disinfection.) Lucky me he didn't want to come in the house or he was repulsed by the smell of pumpkin, either way he kept his distance. We gather up the guts and put them in a collinear as I had intended on toasting the seeds.


So next came a step I will admit I HAD NOT clue what I was doing. At first I was going to simply slice a bit of the pumpkin, and then peel the slices. WORNG! Pumpkins are tough, good luck getting a half dull carving knife to cut slices of pumpkin and you'll need even more luck to peel the slice once its cut away from the pumpkin. After nearly slicing my finger with a knife I brought out the meat cleaver. My DS was very entertained by me hacking away at this Giant pumpkin on the table. We never use the meat clever for anything. Occasionally, a piece of pumpkin would shoot across the room.


After about 20 minutes of hacking a way the pumpkin I put it all in a large bowl. I then washed it. This turned out to be more complicated as we HAD TONS of pumpkin of chunks to be washed. Not all of it would fit in the large bowl. It spent another 10 or 15 minutes simply trying to wash the pumpkin chunks and finally getting them in their pots. Now that also turned out to be a challenge as I needed two pots and they both end up being very full. I almost brought out a third pot, but I'll get to why I didn't in a minute.


So finally, the next step was to simply boil the pumpkin until it was soft. Sounds easy enough, just turn the pots on high, bring to a boil, and turn down to med/low until pumpkin is cooked. I put my small pot on the front large burner and the Large stock pot on the back burner. Every thing was going well, except the back burner was smoking. I attributed the smoking burner to the fact I never use that burner and it was burning off the built up grease. The smoke got worse after a few minutes and I had to check it. I moved this giant two gallon pot from the burner, and at that moment the contents underneath burner decides to ignite. WONDERFUL! Part of me is thinking ,"Great! How do I explain me burning down my house while trying to cook a giant pumpkin." My DS was in the kitchen and at some moment I switched to "TEACHER MOM." Calmly I told my DS, "first we have to turn off the burner, then we have to cut the air off from the fire." In the moment this little lesson went by in under 20 seconds. I could clearly see the fire wasn't out, so I told him that we needed something that would not allow any air on the fire, so I brought out the baking soda. In one hit with the soda the fire was out, the only problem now the back burner was now covered in baking soda and I had TWO large pots of pumpkin that needed to be cooked. I had to switch the pots around, the smaller pot went to the small front burner, with the larger pot went on the large front burner. The simplest and easiest part came next, I cleaned up the mess left behind. NO big deal and I knew I had a while before I had to do anything with the pumpkin as it had to cook and cool.


After cleaning, I brought out my sewing. My DP and a co worker came to the house for lunch. This part of pumpkin process was so far becoming the easiest part. My son happily told DP's co worker that Mr. Baking Soda put out a fire. That comment led me into talking about the fire and why it wasn't that big of a deal. I also took the moment to get on to my DS for simply ignoring the fact I was the one who brought out Mr. Baking Soda.

Not long after DP left for work DS wanted my attention and I also realized the pumpkin was done cooking. I turned off the heat, and played with DS for a little while. I knew there was no possible way for me to process hot pumpkin and get to the school on time to pick up my Step son. I shoved the pumpkin in the fridge, picked my step son up from school and came home. Only to find what awaited me, I had NOT put away my sewing and it looked like a colored lamb had puked all over the dinning room. If it weren't enough my son was tired and didn't want to take a nap. He was roving the house in a tired way looking for trouble. In the back of mind I am thinking "I have to get the pumpkin out of the fridge and do something with it...but what!" I had no intentions of cooking dinner on that evening, as I was breaking free for mom's night out, but I couldn't just leave the fridge full of pumpkin. So I tell the kids to get a long, I have something that MUST be done. I break out the pumpkin with little idea as to how I might get the peeling separated from the edible part. I did know that it could be done, as with other types of squash, the peeling stays intact while the rest of the vegetable turns into mush. At first I bring out a collinear, thinking I would simply mash the pumpkin through the holes. That didn't work, in fact I made a huge mess and some of the peeling popped through the holes. At some point, it may have been at this one, where I was wondering if I should in fact get on the Internet and read about processing pumpkin, however I did not. My next idea was to simply separate the peeling from the edible part by hand. This worked out wonderfully, only the four hour Chlorination was complete and I had to turn on the all of the faucets in the house until I could no longer smell chlorine. I went about the house turning on every possible fixture including the ones that were outside. My DS found this especially fun and stayed out side to "watch" the water come out of the spigot. This was a mistake on my part as I was finally finishing up making pumpkin puree I realized that NOW I had to turn off all of the faucets. When I got outside I realized DS had put the water hose on the spigot and was hosing down the steps and the inside of the side door, it wasn't shut. Its nearly 5PM and time is short as in about an hour and half I want to leave and even sooner DP will be home from work. The side entrance is flooded, my DS is soaking wet, the kitchen looks as though a pumpkin puked all over the counters and I have yet to figure out just what I am going to do with the vast amount of pureed pumpkin.
My next thoughts were to throw in the towel, I simply wasn't going to be able to leave the house in any reasonable amount of time. Over whelmed my DP might actually tell me he cannot stay home with three kids and pumpkin goo all over the kitchen. So I do the only thing a good Domestic Engineer knows to do, a mad stash and Dash. I start with the pumpkin peels as those have to go in the compost heap, I allow DS to run the house naked. With all of the frantic cleaning I managed to not only get the kitchen cleaned, I mopped! That's a chore I avoid with a passion.
In the end I was able to put away enough pumpkin for six pumpkin pies. I made it to an awesome Mom's Night out, and my DS was waiting for me when I got home at nearly midnight. My DP also found some chunks of pumpkin in the dining room during Breakfast.
At just after 5PM, I throw in the towel, I will ultimately be late to Mom's night out, my DP will come home and see his house destroyed and I will still be cleaning pumpkin and mopping at 7PM.